Nothing is more important than the feeling of dominance as you stand on the first tee. Knowing that you are about to dominate your opponent. The feeling gets even better as you methodically start to notch up the holes. Those little cuts that are the slow bleed as your opponent flounder. You bide your time waiting to deliver the final blow.
I had this feeling last week, dominance ascending. Everything was firing on all cylinders. The driver was producing a beautiful baby fade, irons were crisp, and the putts were starting online with good speed. Very shortly after this auspicious start, the oil started to leak. The slow leak increased to a trickle and then lo and behold as usual the train started coming off the tracks.
I do not think the swing was the problem, even though the cracks in it slowly become fissures for all to see, I think the problem was mental. I lost the match because I got too amped up. I started to try too hard and do too much. Getting behind in the swing count. Swinging too hard. I lost my tempo, then lost my confidence.
Losing my confidence is the death knell for my swing. No confidence leads to no tempo and the swing just falls apart. It happens all the time. I desperately look to get the tempo back, but the harder I look the farther it seems to get. As I watched the match slowly slip from my grasp, the struggle was real. As the swing got faster and faster, all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die. I do not think that losing the march, which I really wanted to win was the worst part, it was bad shot after bad shot.
I was just embarrassed. That is it in a nutshell. Pure embarrassment. I have worked so hard improving my game, but when the competition starts, the flaws still shine through, glaring for all to see.
The embarrassment I think is what was worst of all. To work so hard and then to crumble when the chips are on the line is shaming, at least to me. So, beyond the work I need to put in about tempo, timing, and playing within myself, I really need to work on divorcing my performance on the course to my mental state off the course. I find it interesting that when I play well it does not affect my mood, but when my play is poor, I struggle internally always thinking of went wrong and how I can improve. The long and short of all of this is that I need to work on my mental fortitude. Through a strong mental game, I will be able to bring my daily game to the competitive rounds.